CyberPoint Anti-Malwear

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Anti-Malwear FAQ

T: Anti-Malwear FAQ

T: Anti-Malwear
Q: Are cooties still a threat in this day and age?
A: Yes, just ask any elementary school child and they will confirm this important fact.
Q: Is nakedness really a bad thing?
A: While nakedness is not inherently bad, we felt there were a sufficient number of laws and ordinances prohibiting public nakedness to warrant the protection.
Q: Do I really need protection from art students?
A: Actually no. Art students are generally pretty cool people. The shirt is designed to be artistically interesting enough that you won't have to endure the snickering or impertinent jibes about your personal sense of style from art students that may be in your vicinity. Oh, and this shirt was designed by former art students.
Q: How exactly does this shirt protect me from normalness?
A: Wearing a shirt that says "poop" on it takes you outside what is generally considered normal in polite society.
Q: I've been told that the thought police were disbanded back in the late 1960s. Is that true?
A: We are aware of the rumors regarding the disbanding of the thought police, but since we weren't 100% sure, we decided to provide the protection anyway.
Q: I see that that the shirt offers protection from ketchup — does that mean it protects against mustard too?
A: We believe, so. However, we have not completed testing with mustard just yet. We hope to offer this protection in our next release.
Q: Some people say that dust bunnies are not really dangerous – if that's true, why do you protect against them?
A: While we appreciate that there is a great diversity of academic and medical opinion on the threat posed by dust bunnies, we added the protection out of an abundance of caution.
Q: I get lots of funny looks, can this shirt really help me?
A: As you know, all funny looks are not the same. While we have tried our best to offer protection from most funny looks, this shirt cannot fully compensate for an individual's actions when he or she is acting well outside the norms of acceptable human behavior.
Q: I'm content to be bored, so why would I need a shirt that protects against boredom?
A: You don't. You should buy a different shirt. Maybe a plain undershirt.
Q: Since bird poop generally comes from above, isn't my head still exposed to danger?
A: Yes, you are quite right. This shortcoming was only pointed out only after the product was released. We currently have a team of experts working on the problem and hope to have a solution in time for the spring migration.
Q: Do all the proceeds really go to charitable causes?
A: Yes. We wouldn't have it any other way.